OKAY! so just for the record i'm not a lil emo kid

although i know you guys would still love me if i was

i took a substitute for aderall last night

we thought it was less strong but apparently

not only does it keep you awake but depresses the HELL out of you

so no need to worry, i'm really good, just shouldn't mix drugs with alcohol :]

good luck tonight em

<3

its friday night

so naturally i'm drunk

and depressed to the point where slitting my wrists sounds FANTASTIC

but i can't

cuz my friends need me

one is a homesick alcoholic/druggie

one doesn't think she exsists/slight druggie

and one weighs less than 100 lbs and thinks she's fat

they need me

but i dont need me

so i'll stay for now. hmph.

<3

i feel poopy.

and i dunno why.

blah.

<3

home for the weekend

got the singlet and I LOVE IT!

thanks :]

rob was the one i was refering to

ive decided i hate him

in an im-gonna-hate-you-so-you'll-love-me kinda way

yupp

:D

<3

gone for a week without a word

no goodbye

no phone calls to tell me he's not dead

no contact whatsoever

a week.

and then he shows up back at school

and has NO idea what we're talking about

thinks we've lost our marbles

because apparently he was never planning on staying away

just went home for a bit.

I hate boys.

he left.

he's just...gone.

no goodbye, no warning.

All his stuff is gone.

His room still smells like him

I wrap myself up in his shirt

but his smell is starting to go away.

He left.

He's just gone.

And im so very lost.

<3

so just because emily posted what she did...

this past weekend i went to my friend bobby's 21st birthday party

and MAYBE had a little too much to drink...

...before i even got there :]

...and then more to drink once i got there

SO needless to say i dont remember a whole lot about the party

except there were TONS of people there

like a ridiculous amount

so anyway, as we're leaving the party my bag breaks

(its one of those mini backpacks, mine has superman on it, got it for a dollar)

and when i say breaks i mean the entire fucking bottom is ripped open

but i dont notice in my drunken stupor and it happened right as i was getting in the van

so as we get out of the van and are headed towards the dorms i feel something fall out

my camera

so i take my backpack off, swear at the damage and pull everything out

everything important's still there

camera, wallet, chapstick, lighter, etc

and i then i realize what IS missing

my ID card and key

now at this point im FURIOUS

for those who dont know (both of you :P)

i just lost the key to my dorm at a park

(sober mind you)

50 bucks to replace

had it in my back pocket, so i started carrying it in my purse

lost it AGAIN

so obviously there is NO safe place for my keys and im PISSED

go back to the van, not there, not anywhere

im livid, i JUST replaced this key

i text a few friends still at the party ask them to look for it,

blah blah blah

next day i go to berkeley with my friends for the night so i dont NEED anything

but still kinda put a damper on my mood

on the way home my friend Jessie pulls out her keys for the first time all weekend

(because we were out of town and therefore didnt need it for food or to get in anywhere)

and there attached to her keys, are my keys and ID

not tangled, ATTACHED

like in my drunken stupor

i was SO paranoid about losing them

that i managed to put the key ring

(with a cast on)

around her keys to ensure not losing them.

If thats not a responsible drunk, i dunno what is :]

<3

update! even though there isnt much to update about...


yes, im definitely still texing as much and as fast as ever :]

im supposed to get the cast off on the 22nd

but im really tired of it

so imma see if i cant get it off sooner

i think i'll tell them imma be in a wedding

and try and get a soft cast

*fingers crossed*

things are better with me and cute boy down the hall

we finally talked..well, he yelled

i kinda just sat there bored

and then later that night he knocked on my door and apologized

and we kissed :]

which was very nice :]

hahaha ANYWAY

im still pretty homesick

think that like the weekend before halloween i might road trip home

right now im not doing my hw and writing on here instead

been up since 8:30 to go get breakfast with my friends

even though i dont have class till 4

so i think i might take a nap..

OH! and i saw 2 dead bodies on tuesday

went to a forensics lab

also held a dead baby skull :[

saddness

olivias looking over my shoulder lol

she's my girlfriend, by the way

not like THAT, i proposed very drunk

so now she's stuck with me

and we basically use it as an excuse when guys that are gross hit on us :P

but shes gonna wash my hair now

so i gotta go!

peace

<3