fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!


so um.


yeah.


ok. lets start at the beginning of tonights drama.


so i hung out with mark around from like 1:30-3:30 and was late to play pratice that started at 3. whateve. i don't care


everything is fine until around 9


then i decide to go get dinner and rainie says she'll go with me

so we jump into my car and head for jack in the box

and all the way there i discover that she indeed does know who mark is

because mark told his best friend chris, who told his girlfriend brooke who told rainie.

fuck.

so i talk to mark later on and tell him.

blah blah blah.

turns out chris didn't really tell brooke, rainie dooped us.

which is my fault.

fuck.

so whateve.

and then i call chris to just talk to him about the whole me and mark thing just go get his opinion.

which turns into a guilt trip.

and now i feel like shit.

but he said to follow my heart.

fuck that.

im going to end up turning mark's world upside down

and fucking a lot of people over.

and im not worth that.

i think im gonna have to end things.

which, im not going to lie, just typing that makes my heart break.

and starts the fucking tears flowing again.

fuck.

how do i get myself into these messes?